Your Control, is Controlling You

"Control the outside and you will forever be locked inside; Control the inside and you will be set free." - etconscioushealing


Please always read the full post to get the full message.


Have you ever felt like everything going on in your life was so out of your #control? No matter what you try to do, no one is listening.


Control has become such a big illusion which ends up creating an abundance of separation rather than bring us to a place of unified understanding. To get to a place of unified understanding, we have to first individually be aware of the selfish intent behind our desire to control, which is driven by fear and is one of our shadows.


A lot of times, wanting to control comes #unconsciously, and we don't even recognize that we are doing it. It's #instinctive.


Often, it is because we are trying to prevent the current path from heading towards a certain direction, the 'wrong' direction. So what we try to do...is fly the airplane. Imagine this: You buy a ticket for a flight, you get on the airplane, and once it takes off, you head to the pilot and tell the pilot he doesn't know where he is going...(now imagine that you are the pilot and someone tells you you don't know where you're going).


The reasons behind us doing this is driven by #fear and lack of trust. When we fear that a person we care for is about to make a huge mistake, or we believe there is a "better" way...we try to convince, force, beg, and push, rather than understand and support their decisions. Why? Because we know that if this person ends up hurting or making a 'mistake,' we, ourselves, will also end up hurting or even feeling like a failure because we could have 'helped.' Because we think we're....'right.'


Here is the alternative: We convince, force, beg, push, and what is the result of this? You push this person so far the edge. The unconscious thing to do is to blame or excuse our need to control on trying to 'protect' another person, because at the root of it, that desire comes from a place of trying to protect ourselves and the amount of pain we can possibly feel if a person we love begins to hurt or #self-sabotage.


Anyone in our life, whoever they may be, it's important for us to learn how to accept that their decisions are their #decisions, and your decisions are your decisions. You can only lead the way by showing, never by doing it for them. After all, we cannot fight someone else's battle for them.


That does not mean you cannot #co-exist with one another, it just means that you can choose to accept that person's experience and how it meshes into your reality, to support them and hold space for their experience--or you don't. You #surrender. We all have the gift of free-will and to choose the experiences we want to experience, and to remove ourselves from anything we do not wish to experience. And if you want the freedom to stay out of the control of another, you must also need to stay out of the need to control something or someone other than yourself.


The only thing you are responsible for is keeping your own actions and your own reactions in check. Learn about your own emotions and how they affect you in certain situations, so that another person's actions and reactions do not sway you. Rather, you witness and understand. This doesn't mean you won't feel a certain type of way, you will, but don't let how you feel change your decisions. Because if they do--allow me to remind you that it is them who are in control of you--but if you become aware of this, you can #transcend this.


If you do not like the choices another person is making, you are never obligated to stay. You are allowed to choose what it is that you want to accept into your life, no one should tell you #otherwise and vice versa.


It's important to become aware of when we are unconsciously trying to control the outcome of something outside of ourselves, the reasons why we do this, and find out what it is we are #avoiding. What truth are we shielding ourselves from seeing? From feeling? What can we learn from this? These are all questions we must ask ourselves in order to #free ourselves and bring us more #peace, #understanding, and #support.


Leave a comment and let me know what you think !


With Love & Light,

Emily





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