Healing Emotional Numbness

The process of healing from emotional numbness can pose to be quite a challenge if one does not have the proper support, or if one's external environment isn't suited for emotional healing. As someone who has experienced emotional numbness--I realized something very important. I 'thought' I was emotionally numb--when in actuality--I was fearful of feeling all of my emotions. I believed that processing my emotions were going to be a waste of my time and my energy.

At the very same time, I also found myself repelled by my own emotions. Every time something would trigger me--I didn't want to deal with it. I was annoyed at myself for feeling, so what I unconsciously did--was numb myself.

I began to feel less joy in every day tasks, began feeling bored and empty. I ended up always seeking someone for company, not relation. I couldn't relate, rather--I didn't want to. In the state of being emotionally numb--it will be difficult to want to relate to others. Forming real and deep connections with other people meant that emotions and feelings will be on the line.

Actually, I was never emotionally numb. I was afraid of being overly sensitive, because I was always told (until adolescent) that I was too emotional--so in order to not be overly emotional--I instead learned how to 'emotionally numb' myself...until I was called a robot. This is when I realized it doesn't matter what people thought of me--or what I even thought about myself.

It didn't matter what I believed, it was about what I knew. It was my inner knowing. I knew I wasn't overly emotional, not all the time at least, and I was certainly not a robot. I knew I had feelings and emotions, but sometimes I can also come off a little cold. I knew I couldn't control what others say about me or perceive me because I don't even know myself too well either. And once I realized and integrated all of this--was the most liberating feeling of all.

If you are truly looking to heal from emotional numbness--consider that you are not emotionally numb and that you never were. But healing from this might come with a lot of emotional purging which can be scary. This is normal. Allow yourself to surrender to whatever emotion is coming through--this is how you heal. We heal by allowing ourselves to heal.